Party People by Kate Toon
I’m not a party person. I’d rather stay at home.
I never have much fun in a corner all alone.
I like the mini quiches, the dips and sausage rolls,
But the company is rubbish, and the girls are just fat moles.
I end up getting drunk and hiding in the loo.
Well, if you looked like me you’d probably do that too.
I’m not the sort of person that people like to meet.
Maybe it’s the beard or my strangely smelling feet.
I’m happy back at mine just watching Doctor Who.
There’s matchstick boats to make and ironing to do.
I make myself lasagna and settle down on the settee.
I’m happy to be quiet, happy just being me.
And really if you’re honest, you hate parties as well.
You go because you have to, but really know they’re hell.
You get pissed and do things that next day you’ll regret.
And have the kind of evening you’d much rather forget.
At least I can admit it: I think parties are poo.
Home is more relaxing, be honest, it’s so true.
So all you party people can take a running leap.
And I’ll just stay at home and catch up on my sleep.