Distance By Kate Toon
Distance lends enchantment, or so the poets say.
But I just get quite miserable, when you are far away.
I miss seeing you plod about the house in just your pants.
There’s no one to kill spiders or water all the plants.
I don’t do as much washing; the bathroom is obscene.
When you’re not here to boss me, I can’t be arsed to clean.
The bed seems so much bigger with the duvet all for me
I start to feel quite bored when there’s nothing on TV.
Since you did all the cooking I’m becoming a bit slimmer.
Eating only crisps or cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
My toothbrush stands up stoic, in the holder, all alone.
The dog spends his time sleeping, no interest in his bone.
I’m not a fan of distance, I really want you back.
‘Cos when you’re not here with me, my life’s all out of whack.
So next time that you bugger off; if it’s all right by you.
Please make it only one week or possibly two.