Sparkapolooza

Why I don’t like hair
By Kate Toon

In a ‘jazz rhyming’ stylee

Hair gets people down.
Makes them frown.

Dan had no hair up there,
not since he was twenty two.
He said he didn’t care but felt it wasn’t fair.
Some people seemed to stare,
so he retreated to his lair and didn’t share
his emotions with anyone.

Sarah had no hair down there.
She’d never waxed or shaven her haven,
No, it was a case of
pubic alopecia when just sixteen.
Life could be so mean,
But at least it kept her clean.

Bernard had too much hair in there,
His nasal passages were fluffy,
So that if his nose got stuffy
The mucus just couldn’t get through; it’s true.
He plucked and pulled, such pain,
but the hair grew back again.

Bridget had too much hair under there.
Her pits were so hirsute,
it wasn’t cute.
Some bloke shouted ‘epilate’ when
she was running late
to the
gym.
She’d been wearing a small vest
that didn’t show her at her best.

Hair gets people down.
Makes them frown.