'You' by Andy Warhole
By Kate Toon
(Best read fast, with a slight Cockney accent)
There's a man called Andy Warhole and he lives just down my street.
I think he's a podiatrist or something to do with feet.
He used work in factories, drove a Forklift that was blue.
Now he'll sort you feet out lovely and cut your corns off too.
He's nothing like that artist, the one with the silly hair.
His drawings are quite rubbish and he doesn't really care.
But he once went to a gallery, saw the picture of Monroe,
And wondered what it'd be like, to get his hands on her big toe.
He likes to tell his customers, feet are the 'window to the sole'.
He made up lots of jokes like that when he was on the dole.
He says if you look after feet, they'll care right back for you.
And given his experience, I rather think that's true.